Writing Fears: The Blank Page9/30/2022 That small line is flickering on your word document. Intimidating, almost incriminating. You are starting a new chapter, a new poem, a new story. There are so many ideas, but will your words be enough to give them a shape? What if you cannot portray them correctly? What if you do not do them justice? For a moment, it may seem that inspiration is dissipating into thin air. What if it never comes back? This internal monologue has seen me close my computer in frustration more than once. I would rub my eyes and take a sip of water, telling myself that I would take a break and then come back. But I would find myself stretching that break and procrastinating yet again. Do not get me wrong, I firmly believe that taking breaks is healthy to avoid burnout. But sometimes my breaks are not proportional to the task I have at hand. During this scenario, I was just avoiding something that used to scare me at the moment. I was taught to just “sit down and start writing”. But, when second-guessing ourselves, sometimes we need a stronger, stabler push. Set realistic goals One of the first times I wrote a new story to be submitted to a literary magazine, I tried doing ten-minute writing sprints. Ten minutes seemed much more manageable than an entire short story, so I hid my word count and found a YouTube Pomodoro session channel. Leaving a sentence half-finished has never felt so uncomfortable. During the three-minute breaks that followed, I began getting excited for the next sprint so I could continue with the story. Nowadays there is a lot of pressure to write often and to do it quickly. Let this be your reminder to acknowledge your limits and set goals accordingly. Be there “Show up, show up, show up, and after a while the muse shows up, too.” This is one of my favorite quotes by Isabel Allende on writing. Know that just showing up to type the first sentences or verses is already an achievement. Because if you write a paragraph after that sentence, a stanza after that verse, your story is already taking place. Sometimes we are so focused on trying to get the words right that we forget to enjoy the process. Writing is art, and creating art takes time and perseverance. One of the reasons that blank page is so intimidating is because we fear failure. Personally, I defined failure as writing something that couldn’t impact the reader. To have plot holes and rough characterization. But I slowly lost my fear once I began realizing two things. First -during the first draft at least- I am writing for myself. And second, making mistakes, and plenty of them, is part of the process. Now I look at the twinkling bar knowing that I will make mistakes, that I will work through them, and that my piece is bound to improve. Because I already showed up, and I will keep doing so. Exercises to try I also believe in the power of getting out of our comfort zone to grow, so I have tried plenty of exercises to get my motivation back. The top three ones I recommend trying include:
Why do you love to write? A couple of months ago, I attended a seminar with Ecuadorian author Andrés Cadena. When I asked him about the fear of facing a blank page, he told me that he wrote because he had ideas or characters, or themes on his mind. Reading the notes I quickly jotted down in pencil on the last page of my copy of Fuerzas Ficticias, I find the sentences that help me fight this fear every time: The page is never blank. I go because I have something to say. It will always be scary, even when you think that you have finished. Keep writing. And so I begin a new story. One moment I might be typing a rough idea, the next my fingers will be flying over the keyboard and my mind will be captivated by my characters and my plot. The moment in which the blank page becomes a canvas in which I can paint whichever story I want and fill it with landscapes, colors, metaphors, and melodies. I will cherish that moment. Because that feeling, that experience, and the prospect of gifting an adventure to others, is why I write for. Paula Argudois a young planster with too much passion and too little time on a day. She has been telling stories for as long as she can remember, whether they are thoroughly researched flash fiction pieces or improvised bedtime stories.
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