Most of us writers do not have the luxury of writing full time. We have commitments like school, jobs, relationships…Sometimes it can feel like we are being pulled in eight different directions. By the time we sit down to write, we feel exhausted, or guilty for putting it off to take care of ourselves. This is a personal article, but one I hope resonates with all the forced-to-be-slow writers out there. Here are my eight directions: I am in graduate school, I have homework, I am employed, I try to get exercise, I have a relationship, I have to do adult things like get groceries, I have a YouTube channel to maintain. Oh yeah, and also there’s this book I want to write. Social media has an insidious way of turning me into an envious being. Every day, I’m exposed to content creators who are successful in their writing careers, or write full time, or have more free time than me. I see writers who finish a book in a year, or three months, or 30 days—and it’s hard not to feel envy for what they have: free time. It’s hard not to feel disappointed in my own slow progress when someone I like on AuthorTube is doing exactly what I want to be doing. It’s so easy to feel like I’m behind on everything. Disappointment I’m not writing fast enough; frustration my book isn’t done yet; guilt for taking my own time; envy that I don’t have what others have: these negative feelings come and go, but they are directly related to the amount of stuff I have to do. More stuff = more recovery time = less time for writing. I can’t do anything about the stuff I have to do. Thoughts run through my head: Why wasn’t I writing this morning instead of scrolling on my phone? Why did I choose to make breakfast that took 30 minutes? Why wasn’t I writing when I went to yoga class? I could have taken less classes this semester. I could have decided to watch less YouTube. But I didn’t. I’m not going to apologize for being human, for soothing myself and taking care of my body. So now what? How do I get around those negative feelings? The truth is sometimes I don’t. The only way to make them go away is to actually write and focus on getting my own sh*t together. Sometimes I vent to other writers, or sometimes myself. I’m learning to be kinder with my self-imposed deadlines. Writing isn’t a race. My book will always be there for me when I have time to finish it. I’m am learning to celebrate what I have done so far. I am writing a fifth draft, isn’t that something to be happy about? My writing has improved so much since the first time I finished my book. I don’t need to rush towards my author dream, no matter how badly I want it. I can flip the dream on its head. Imagine how busy I would be if I had to be responsible to an editor in graduate school?? Perhaps it’s for the best that my writing is slow right now. If you are having these feelings about writing, you are not alone. The comparison game is so easy to play during NaNoWriMo, so protect yourself. Celebrate what you have done already, and look forward to the years to come. From all of us at JUVEN Press, be kind to yourself and your book, and happy writing. Grayson Yountis a writer based in North Carolina. She attends writing classes of all kinds at UNC Chapel Hill and has a particular fondness for sharp imagery. In her free time, she drafts her own novels.
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