I am tired of a culture so demanding it may sometimes feel I am not doing enough. It is easy to compare your progress with everyone who tells you about theirs. From social media accounts whose names I have forgotten to close friends of mine. Because no, I am not writing thousands of words a month, not editing every piece I have ever written. Not submitting to lit mags. Not even opening a document to write anymore. Because I am busy, or I don’t feel like it. Because I am simply taking a moment to try and catch my breath to rest. But today I have decided that I’m tired of feeling guilty and scared. I know I love to create. To weave characters and lives and magic through words. I don’t want to stress about mastering technique, paragraph structure, style. I know my grammar is not perfect, say less about syntax. I am liberating myself from the pressure. I want to give myself freedom to experiment with fiction and non-fiction. To start new projects and take risks. Who cares for perfection? Who? When there is love for my craft, when it is my creative faucet and no one else's. I feel pride in my work. I have put so much effort and dedication into every publication. I have been up at five a.m. and at eleven p.m. pouring over my stories. I have learned as much as I can. I have written heart-wrenching and heart-warming stories. I have left an impact on my readers. I am doing what eleven-year-old me dreamed about. And today, I am acknowledging my value. I am happy to see others prosper. I am so proud of so many people, and so glad I have the opportunity to learn with and from them. Ari, you are an incredible writer. I will always admire how your stories always make me feel the most complicated, intertwined emotions. And how you are so true to yourself. Stoots, I have told you once and I will tell you again, what you are doing with Healthline is incredible. Grayson, your articles are some of the best, your projects have always sounded so interesting to me, and I cannot wait to see them published. Abigail, Janelle, It has been wonderful to see your writing journey, even if I’m not directly involved in it. Thank you for teaching me so much and for letting my wild articles have a place in this world. Fran, I love your songs, your poetry. You are so talented. Thank you for showing me a bit of your heart. All the TYWI members, especially the blogging team (of the present and of the past), you are all amazing writers. Working with you is a pleasure. And to all the writing community out there, let me remind you that you are enough, and that everyone has their own process. Today, I realise that it is alright if I’ve fallen apart with writing these past months. Because it has made me realise how deeply I want to put my craft back together. And paste every piece with glitter, and write with that mesmerising ink made of my imagination and my blood. I want to create new stories and edit my old work. I want to publish again. All of this to say, if one rainy day of an Andean spring I found my love for writing again, you can too. Paula Argudois an Ecuadorian writer who weaves culture and magic into her stories. Her work has been featured in literary magazines such as SeaGlass Literary and Ice Lolly Review, and she was an international finalist in the Metamorphosis contest. When not writing, you can find her dancing, baking, or daydreaming.
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